Stop obsessing over your EX!

STOP OBSESSING OVER MY EX & CUT OFF CONTACT WITH HIM ALTOGETHER

He was my first Mr. Big. The guy who I just couldn't shake. The love of my life that I wouldn't let die knowing full well it's the same (sad) story over and over again.

My mom taught me to be friends with my exes but how could I continue to let this guy be in my life with no end result. I used to hope we’d get back together and eventually marry. What? I know he loves me – he still doesn’t have to tell me like when we dated, I mean like he didn’t tell me. Yes, dear I know you claim to “not know what love is” but I’m here to tell you, again, that you do. You shared it with me and you blew it.

You see Mr. Big #1 was the love of my life – thus far. For the first and only time (thus far) I fell so in love and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. (Okay I fell in love after him-in time) It’s hard when you think you’ll spend the rest of your life with someone and it doesn’t work out. Those feelings don’t go away easily. What made it even harder is the fact that we’d continue to keep in touch and dance around the idea of “us.” Honestly, we were reliving the past and clueless that the present was going on.

But I see the love in your face or in your eyes- when I used to see you. We had a spark and so I will say that part of my heart will always belong to you, however I need to be able to give
my whole heart to someone new. I want to be able to love him with every fiber of my being like the way I did with you. If I continue to let you in and break my heart again, let me down again, well that isn’t what love is. You will end up alone if you don’t open up. And I will end up alone – and without you – if I don’t cut you off. This is very hard for me because I thought
we could be friends but you haven’t been a very good friend to me. So I’m done. My wishing for something that will never happen again is over.

How you know you should say good-bye:

-HE DOESN’T CALL OFTEN OR TO CHIT CHAT – HE CALLS TO STIR ME UP WHEN HE KNOWS I'VE MOVED ON.

-HE INDIRECTLY TELLS ME HE WANTS ME TO BE WITH HIM - JUST TELL ME IF THAT'S WHAT YOU REALLY FEEL.

-I’VE SEEN HIM SO MANY TIMES AND HE FLIRTS WITH ME PROFUSELY, AND WE CUDDLE WHEN WE SLEEP BUT HE HAS NEVER MADE A MOVE.

-HE AWAYS IS “TOO BUSY”

-IF I’M PINING AFTER HIM AFTER ALL THIS TIME WITH NO RESULTS, WHOSE PINING AFTER ME?

-I JUST CAN'T CRY OVER YOU ANYMORE.

-WHEN I NEED YOU, YOU’RE NEVER THERE FOR ME. I DESERVE MORE.

Moment to date: he moved from the west coast back to the midwest without telling me. I found out through mutual friends of ours about a year after the fact. That is what I finally call closure. No big, draw-out good-bye, just not a word at all and I honestly believe in my gut, I will never hear from him again. That's the way my life path, or love path, paved for me. We hurt each other too much but continuing to play the 'what if - memory lane' game. I wish him well but that's it, it's truly over.